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The Single Most Important Event in the History of Music

by Insert Piz Here->

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Lotocoti
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Lotocoti Reminding me somewhat of "The Most Unwanted Song," this album is weirdly listenable in spite of (or perhaps because of) its deliberate defiance of musical convention. I liked it enough to pay actual money to have it in my collection. Favorite track: Croton.
Crazy Bird Dude
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Crazy Bird Dude I usually only get this far before I turn it off. Sometimes, I venture all the way to "Pancake Time" before I have to shut it off. Bravo A+ would buy again. Favorite track: Crayzons.
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1.
11111011001 00:41
Uh Yeah I P H Deuce-double-O-twelve You thought we was zucchini? We straight Picasso crawfish, dawg For real
2.
My Automaton 00:58
My automaton gets me dressed in the morning Makes me coffee and toast I know my automaton keeps me healthy My automaton loves me the most My automaton, Tom the Automaton Tucks me in at night After Tom the Automaton brushes my teeth My automaton, Tom, turns off the light
3.
I’m such a happy guy with absolutely no angst The world is just perfect and there’s nothing to be angry about We live in the greatest country on Earth Our government is terrific Wealth is distributed fairly, and no one is ever underpaid Health care is readily available to everyone in need No one ever goes hungry, and nobody lives on the street People always live such long, wonderful lives There’s no such thing as suffering, and people don’t actually die This world is so full of joy and devoid of misery The police are incredibly helpful Everyone is a productive member of society This is the best of all possible worlds Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt
4.
The Gopher 01:46
Well there's a big blue page on the frozen ship Where the big girls comb their hair And the hatchet never gets buried And the hamster won’t ever get spared There's a termite cabin in the country And the country is near the moon So the fireflies separate the nervous And you know the badger eats grass too Well pinch me in the face and tell me something nice Like a rabbit is fuzzy and cold And we'll eat cranberries in the forest That are covered in chocolate and gold Baby hippos got a lot of texture And they're coated with a premium glaze But the gopher pays the price for the yogurt That'll feed him for nine billion days
5.
Crayzons 00:58
One time we went crazy in a mental institution And we went... Beep-boo-bop crazy We went around in sunflowers and singy songs Chuck into the heather and we gave it on Chopped off each other's heads and we went Crazy
6.
Meteor Blues 00:44
(Do it right) Well I woke up this morning I was feeling mighty fine So I walked on out the front door And everybody was dead Why did that meteor have to come and strike my planet right now?
7.
Giant dark worm of the underground I call forth your spirit To feast on my bones like bread Spread with the worm jelly Giant dark master of the wormy flesh I call forth your spirit To play the bassoon of doom and destruction and chaos (And pain (of doom)) The doom and destruction brought forth by the pain And the chaos of doom and pain And the doom worm of doom dines on my skull As you sit and play your bassoon of doom Play your musical notes on the bassoon Of doom
8.
Way down in the deep dark hole Where my body lies Snakes crawl and vermin gamble With my eyes I can’t see the sun ever again Because I am dead And also I’m in a deep dark hole My body’s in the hole Down there in the moldering bog There’s an evilness A festering magical poison frog Now that the demons have arrived From the Netherlands My soul will never be free I try to make a sound But the frog won’t listen to me My body’s in the hole Way down in the dark Way down in the deep dark hole My body’s in the hole The deep dark hole With the magical festering poison frog
9.
Uh! What? Yeah, I said.
10.
I'm walking down the street and I'm going real fast My velocity is such that I zap into the past Find myself trapped back in 1642 Where the rock is not invented and the sky has not turned blue Everyone is staring as if I am something weird So I tell them "howdy-doo" and they run away in fear Now I'm stuck in this time with no way to get back And walking backwards fast is the talent that I lack So help me if you can, Dan, send a time machine 'Cause getting back to my time would be something really sweet
11.
Nobody knows... Nobody knows what kind of pants to wear Nobody wears the right kind of pants anymore Bucketloads of scorpions fall out of my bed Every night I get up with a mouth full of lead These shelves are flying off of themselves (yes.) The train will arrive at a quarter to ten And yeah, I open a box now and then Tell me now, is it a good time? Now, is it a good time? Nobody knows what kind of pants to wear They just don't wear the right kind of pants anymore
12.
Red eyes wander through the darkness Just remember time goes both ways Dreams emerging wind down backwards Thoughts degrade into a red haze My front door is always open Some of them just might be in here Have you seen them crawling around you This dimension just makes no sense Realize you have no appendages Always are the red eyes roaming
13.
14.
Pancake Time 03:02
The world explodes at five o’clock today So get up, get dressed, and get on your way The kitchen is full of uninvited guests The clock is ticking and now it’s time To make some pancakes
15.
Blbblblblblblblbblblbblbuh
16.
Croton 01:58
Croton, walking like a magnet Pickin' up seven eighths of a donut Protons, flying like a sea monster Takin' up seven eighths of the universe Ping-Pong, the everlasting ding dong Suckin' up seven eighths of a croton Croton, sleeping like the dirt Eatin' seven eighths of the donuts in the sea
17.
Decade 01:00
One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine Decade!
18.
Drims 04:15
Here goes the mind of a maniac The animals all cluster around to eat us Echoes of a deranged lunatic calling out Reminding me that there is no space The tone of your voice is too loud Harsh whispers sound so proud Rearrange to see the end again And take a fall into the world Of the great removal
19.
Retaining the inside scoop Remaining outside the group None of our bones must show Revisiting the front row Some of the noises have heard That magic's on top of the word The noises inside me are deep Like sub-maritime sheep The palms are alive in the sand And the ocean says, "Isn't life grand?" I sometimes require a walk And the pattern is outlined in chalk The fruit is relinquished by rock From branches attached to the stalk Creating outside the zone The bounds are outside of the throne And the gulper eel swallows my home
20.
Oh one day Jasper's bones ached so hard, his heart let out a scream, oh Heard for miles was his sorrow so great, oh But the heart was the source of the devil and it took old Jasper down to hell Oh, Jasper and the heart of doom, oh In the mines with the chain gang, oh Never see the sun or a daisy again, oh Now the gang struggled with Jasper's dead weight Like an animal in a trap, eyes wide with fear On account of the evil screaming heart of doom Oh, Jasper's screaming heart of doom, oh Oh will the devil in old Jasper's heart get out, oh And crawl in another body and steal another soul, oh Now every day the chain gang is plagued by ghastly screams And frequent deaths and accidents The locals speak of the curse of the mine and the legend of old Jasper Oh, Jasper's sittin' pretty with the devil, oh Lookin' grim as the reaper, oh yes Oh he's swimming through the flames like a dragon, oh Jasper's heart of doom, oh (x10) Jasper and the devil
21.
(instrumental)
22.
Well I woke up this morning outside of my regular bed I looked on into the mirror and I couldn't see my own head Just a big fat lump of some lumpy lumps Purple and black and blue and plump Swole up to three times watermelon size I couldn’t tell what was the nose or the eyes I said, "That hole is a mouth, I can tell by the drool" I got bit by a monster in the black end of the pool I got the black and blues Black and blues Grew a couple of feet So now I need a new pair of shoes And then about one week later, I was sittin' in my favorite chair I was looking down at that felt; you know the dealer was there My chin still looked like an UGLI® fruit, my nose like a ripe Asian pear I had blacks and blues and some reds and a green So I cashed in the biggest stack of chips I ever seen I was high on luck, when a monster with a bat Whacked me right across my blue eyes and turned 'em both black So now I got the black and blues Black and blues Grew a couple more feet So now I need a new pair of shoes, you know Looking in the mirror and the car is white and black And blue and red lights are flashing onto my back Then a monster pulled me out the car And kicked me in the teeth with a long black stick Now I got the black and blues Got the black and blues Grew a couple of feet Now I need a new pair of shoes
23.
Can you see the brains tryin' to jump out of my skull? Feels like I'm starvin' to death even when my stomach is full This thirst is never-endin’ I could drink everything in this barn So everybody jump up and down eight times, then go to the junkyard Where you can... Buy junk See if you can make yourself a useless robot Try junk Cut it up and fit the different pieces together My junk Stretches out from my floor to your ceiling I'm junk Earth is such a wonderful heap of junk
24.
How It Was 04:41
Sailing through the deep black sky Will take the brain right out of your eye Recline and stare through the endless void Watch your mind slip away When your bones fall apart Our time is forever and arrival is here There's no destination until we disappear Feeling so small, in need of distraction Part of the beast but not part of the action Light the way to the coming around Heed the voices when there isn't any sound Try not to sink too far inside If you reach the center, you won't come off the ride Wrap your tongue around your own face Sink your teeth into your brain Once you come to see us You won't be going back again
25.
All the pens have run out of ink, and paper is much too fragile So I always write in blood on flesh and bone Human bodies are disgusting lumps of garbage, wouldn't you agree? Sacks of fleshy organs filled with slime and poop and pee Shut that slimy hole down below your greasy eyes It's spilling out sewage all over the Earth, and it looks like big black lies
26.
Eat a cornbread sandwich with a heap of deviled greens Take a walk on my shoes; I think you'll see what it means When the bell chimes on Monday there's a world of shattered bricks And the envelope I've conquered is filled with broken sticks Take it, Anagram When I came back to the garden it was a lumpy pile of clay The dirt whales came on Sunday; I've never had a better day Take a meatloaf omelet and a bag of pickled rocks Never seen a man who could jump into his socks Hit it, Anachronism Drink a pint of chestnut juice and kill an exploding shark If you like how a moose eats, you'd love me after dark No one ever told me that the world is not inside-out The lights are on but we're never home so take a bow and shout Like a narwhal
27.
Right now! It's a one-two-three-four Kung pao! Gonna knock your ass to the floor Gettin' up? What's up, do you want some more? Just kidding, help you up and walk you to the door Just then! It's a five-six-seven-eight Listen to my rhymes 'cause it makes you feel great Does eating Froot Loops make you want to change your state? Wait a minute, think about it, just contemplate Hey ho! Don't you know what I'm teaching you? Are you sad? Don't cry, just tie your shoe What's the matter, can't do it? Let me help you But be careful not to step in dog poo Yeah, boy Insert Piz Here—> We in fulll efffeckt, suckkaz!!! Now here we have the master Breaking it down for you like a disaster It's the master ninja dirt baby (Yeah, boy)
28.
(instrumental)
29.
Can you taste the blood in the back of your throat singing worms love brains but they always choke up in the dark brown feeling in your head lamp shade tree branches out once you're dead twice upon a couple of times I saw through a forest of timber wolves chewing on a jaw bone/bona-fide clown in the alley way side ways around to the pilot who's bringing me down town under the city lights wreath above the stars the plastic people are moving like cars driving between the lanes in the night time taking its toll on the big street light black shadows on the face of the cliff at the ridge take the trolley across the old nose bridge the gap between the lines is full sail across the ancient lake of skull cap blowing off in the victim's skin-ned alive and well done churning in the wind mill spinning threads into sheets of ice chest heaving heavy blades making them sliced the cake of sorrow growing fat on death wishes for your voice with every breath-taking sight off that body in my head needs a hat trick the brain not to see it when it's shaped like that way down there people leading their livestock/ talk to the old man sharpening the knives sometimes frozen and other times thawed/thought waves crashing in may like it or not my stomach upset my mind ablaze/a blazing quill put more time in your days. More time in your days, wooohooohooo ooohooo more time in your days, yeaahaaaahaaaaaa (etc.)
30.
The world is exploding today And we are all going to die (etc.)
31.
So I took a nap with a toothless goldfish shark man He offered me a glass of water buffalo I shaved the grass onto my feet I polished the tile in the street Take the knife out of your face And take my future for a wallk in the park Screaming cardboard cutouts outlined in crystal chalk Hovering around the fingers of angels And they're dead like a black hole The mirage is moving closer to you, closer to the truth Farther away from the gun on the table Hit the road with a broken baseball bat Pour the glass off the table I took a fork out of my kneecap today And I noticed the trees in the desert are much larger than life as of late Butler Jones Take off your skeleton, that's the key Take off your skeleton, that's the key Yesterday I figured it out You need to take off your skeleton, that's the key If just remember to take off your skeleton, it will be fine That's the key to everything If you can live without a skeleton, everything will be fine Take off your skeleton, that's the key Take off your skeleton and take out your eye Take off your skeleton and take out your eye
32.
No one ever leaves the old cedar grove Yet it draws souls in like a black hole The earth is soft as the hide of a cat The goblins of the North like it like that Their lair is a maze of winding passages Receding all the way to the center of the Earth Where they smelt down iron taken out of blood To make their tools and weapons of siege Some fools in these parts just don't believe In goblins and trolls until they wander into the old cedar grove And they're captured and flayed and reduced in a cauldron And fed to the trolls while it's scalding hot So beware the cedars They'll eat you alive And kill you too
33.
Cut Up Day 02:25
If you poke out my eye, well that would be okay 'Cause I still have one left to see throughout the day If you poke out my other eye, well that would be all right 'Cause I didn't need them anyway to see when in the night If you cut off my finger, well that would be just fine 'Cause I still have seven more that add up to nine If you cut off all my fingers, that would hurt just a bit But I won't fall to the ground and throw a big old fit Poke out my eyes, that would be okay Cut off my fingers, that is what I say Poke out his eyes, that could be real fun Cut off his fingers but then you'll have to run You can cut off my leg but I can hop around Cut off the other leg, and I'll fall to the ground You can cut off my ear but sound I can still hear Cut off the other one, you can keep it for a souvenir Laugh at the bloody stump that I have now become Even though I'm a bloody mess, you know I still had fun Poke out my eyes, that would be okay Cut off my fingers, that is what I say Poke out my eyes, that could be real fun Cut off my fingers but then you'll have to run Poke 'em out and cut 'em off and throw 'em away Everybody's having a cut up day Poke 'em out and cut 'em off and throw 'em away Everybody's having quite a cut up day
34.
Woke up this morning Checked out my pot of gold Took a trip on my private jet 'Cause my yacht was too damn cold I got the blues Yacht-too-cold blues Had my chef prepare some food Told all my wives I'd be back soon Packed all my friends in my spaceship Had a party on the moon I got the blues Moon party blues
35.
Size 76 00:53
Painting the sky with the sea Possessed by the soul of a tree These bones are afloat in the tide Hop in and go for a ride Salty man stinging my eyes And my tongue is just the right size, oh yes Remember new things for your head The chest can be used like a sled The species invading the Earth Always receives a wide berth (Oh yes)
36.
(instrumental)
37.
Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha! O, mi corazón
38.
(instrumental)
39.
(This time we're gonna do it) Yeah Can I borrow your head? (Yeah) Hey, is that a walrus poop? (Yeah) Punch yourself in the face! (Yeah) Is it lunchtime yet? (Yeah) Have you ever been murdered? (Yeah) Could you hand me that volcano? (Yeah) You want to set my house on fire? (Yeah) Let's break stuff. (Yeah)
40.
Hooowoowooo... That's the sound of the werewolves It's feeding time Once upon a time, there was a man And he was very ugly inside Very, very ugly So he took a kitchen knife And he stuck it in his gut And he pulled it up as far as it would go And he pulled out the ugliness Now the ugliness walks of its own free will And it's looking for you in the dark If you close your eyes, you can see it Walking through the swamp, eating grass Suckin' on lily pads and toads Hiding in the tree is a wasp The end.

about

Witness one of mankind's finest achievements!

The long-awaited (by nobody) 15th album of The Piz is finally available.

The Single Most Important Event in the History of Music encompasses every musical style in existence, past, prestent, and future. The critics went wild, and eventually died (in the future). No sound reproduction system has yet been invented that can play this album at its intended listening volume.

The musical portion of this album was actually completed in 2009, but the world was not ready (also, we had no cover art). At last, the time has come! Play it loud and unleash the greatest force of musical annihilation this planet has ever seen.

credits

released June 28, 2012

Insert Piz Here-> is Reuben, Eli, Robbie, Paul, and/or Chris

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Insert Piz Here-> Tucson, Arizona

Yogurt brain watermelon toenail doorknob. Robot muncher golf ball tumbler candy cruncher pinball plumbler. Negative noseteen potato power biscuit gum.

Tucson's number one experimental avant-garde gothic free jazz punk rock band since 1995.
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