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Life, knife, cutting board, wife
Move me away and infect me with blithe
Go, no, I don't think so
Stuff me in a mountain and cut off my toe
Yes, I guess, I'm not going west
Seeing you happy, it makes me depressed
Rabid snakes in your corn flakes
How many pills will I have to take
To take me away from these twisted thoughts
Evil dreams in my head are caught
Drill a hole in my head
When I wake up, you'll be dead
Sitting at my toes at the foot of my bed
Help me stay awake
This evil will not pay
You were killed today
Wait, fate, I'll have to contemplate
Hand me a fork and I'll eat off my plate
Rug, a hug, Please don't eat my lugs
Wrap me with cotton and I'll be snug
Hurt, curt, My name's not Bert
With the clouds that I may flirt
Way, nay, I'll have to eat hay
Sell me some sugar that I bought today
Mastermind of rich gold I will find
Eating up sugar it stirs up my mind
A swirling abyss deep within my guts
Walking down the street I may strut
Eating while I'm eating
With the fool of fruit you'll be feeting
Is it I who you're needing
Sun, fun. Please excuse my pun
If you call me nuts, then I'll call you hon
Man, can, this pain I can stand
Put my legs in the blender put my head in the fan
Book, cook, into the house I snook
It was my blood I thought that you took
Pen, pencil, a writing utensil
Draw me a picture and I'll give you a stencil


from Return to Stupidland, released August 13, 1999



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